Copyright ? 2012 Lisa Copeland
A couple of years ago, my old high school boyfriend and I had the opportunity to reconnect. Together in high school for about a year and a half, we lived an intense romance thinking our hearts would be bonded forever. Ultimately, two colleges and a four-hour car ride broke us up. Our lives no longer connected on a daily basis and our activities were too different to keep the connection going. I was the one that ended it with basically the sentence ?We are done, please don?t call me again.? Click.
I never gave him an opportunity to have closure as my life headed 240 miles north of the city I grew up in once I married someone else three and a half years later.
Over the years, he would ask about me to anyone who might have knowledge of what I was up to. Back in the early years of this 21st century, my high school started an email list of our class. One sunny day, there it was-an email from Paulie asking me after 30 years why we?d broken up. I knew he needed closure but at the time I wasn?t ready to give it to him. I was in a relationship with a man who had opinions on everything and he wasn?t really happy that I?d been contacted by my old flame.
That relationship ended and many years later, I heard that Paulie?s father had died so I contacted him offering my sympathies via email. We began a two-year off and on phone relationship, spending hours on the phone sharing our lives.
I found myself falling in love with him, his words and his thoughts.
He told me how beautiful he thought I was and how smart and kind and compassionate I was. He?d allude to a relationship saying he would always put me on a pedestal or he?d be putty in my hands, words I so desperately wanted to hear, never having had them in any other relationship I?d been in. The only problem was, after a few weeks of this, he?d fall off the face of the earth for a couple of months just to resurface once again with those wonderful verbal accolades that totally fed my ego. I desperately wanted to see him, but every time we scheduled a time to meet he would cancel at the last minute leaving me pissed and disappointed.
We did finally meet face to face and his actions were very different from the words of the man on the phone. In person, he was cool and distant where on the phone he sounded so warm and open. Again he disappeared and this time it would be over 6 months before I?d hear from him again. Now, you might ask, ?why in the world did I let this go on?? Our phone conversations offered me something I?d always wanted-a man who adored me. The problem was he knew what to say but he didn?t know how to follow through.
I finally gave up on any kind of love relationship with him. Now he?s just my friend and this way- he?s the best! I have no expectations other than fun and laughter with him. He still try?s to charm me with there is no one else like you-I wish you lived here. I laugh and accept the compliment for what it is-words. In a vulnerable state, he did admit to me that he was afraid to take our relationship to the next level and that is why he would disappear. I?m ok with it now and have come to treasure him for who he is-my old flame who still loves me and can be just my friend.
So, why do I tell you this story? I want you to stay aware of men who are all words and no action. Words are cheap and very easy to fall for, especially when we feel vulnerable or lonely. Men can blind us from their faults by covering them with the words we want to hear.
If a man really loves you, he will show you his true love by following his words up with action.
A guy may look great on paper but you won?t really know until you actually meet him in person. If you are dating online and are only having phone and email conversations with men, you may be living a dream. If you like a man on paper, meet him as soon as you can and see if he is who he says he is. You can save yourself a lot of time as well as the heartache of living a fake dream, by learning from my experience with Paulie.
Have you ever known a man like Paulie? Post how he made you feel and if you are still in a relationship with him today. Until next time-I look forward to hearing your comments.
Lisa Copeland,?The Smart Choice for Mature Savvy Women Looking for a Coach Who Makes Dating Easier and Fun after 50!? Get Instant Access to your Free Report ?5 Little Known Secrets to Finding a ?Quality Man after 50? at http://www.findaqualityman.com/
Source: http://babyboomersjournal.com/mature-dating-do-you-love-a-charmer-tips-on-dating-at-50/
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