dating issues in lebanon? - Online Dating Advice

Question by Mee: dating issues in lebanon?
in leb society?especially palestinian christian families or arab families in general, what does it mean by the following when it comes to relationships.

im christian european..from the uk and my relationship was stopped with a palestinian guy due to me being older than him. it was nothing to do with sex or a visa it was a totally genuine relationship for over 2yrs, but his family made him choose and said i wasnt suitable. i was unhealthy for him cos of my age. i dont understand some of the other things relating to his family issues that were said and wondered if anyone could enlighten me as to what these mean.

1. when it comes to the family making you choose between your b/f or g/f and them, does the family always come first or do you know of men that have walked away from their families and been strong and gone to the one that they love despite what the family has thought.

2. this ultimatum of its either her or us?what happens to the guy. do the family stop speaking to him altogether and disown him or do they make him feel guilt for the rest of his life but still talk to him. what happens if he moves away with you to europe and starts a new life, do arab families forgive in general or does it depend on each family.

3. what is meant by relatives will interfere and examine the relationship and not let us be. we would be defending the relationship rather than living it and having to convince the family.

4. i have spoken to many leb christians and arabs on this matter in the past few months and have been told that leb society is open minded to issues like this, such as age gap relationships where the woman is older. yet, my ex told me that the society there would be cruel to us and wouldnt accept our relationship cos it was different. i have also looked on the internet and found that a few famous leb stars who are older women in their 40s have had relationships with younger men and it has been scorned on by the media there and public cos it is not normal. so what is the situation with things like this..did he lie to me or was he telling the truth. what do you think of this issue ie the woman being older and do you know of any relationships in leb like this or know if times are changing there to start accepting that woman can be older in a relationship these days as well as the man.

love has no age limits..its about two people being together and committing to each other. lots of times these relationships are actually stronger cos they are different and you fight for them more and know that what you have is special and different to other peoples.
we talk on skype still every few weeks. he cries and has told me so many times if any happens to me something will happen to him. i can see he is heartbroken. he said he doesnt want another relationship and will stay alone for the rest of his life. i know that it was his mother more than anything that did this. all along he told me from the beginning how close they were and during the months he fought it was her approval he wanted the most. when he told her we were marrying she had a panic attack and chest pains threw him out of the house.
he panicked when that happened and the next day that was when it was over between us. he has told me since that her happiness comes before his and no matter what he cant lose her. so i know that his mother was the main reason for us breaking up. i dont understand how you can make a son choose when he is so happy. he pleaded with her and told her he couldnt live without me, but i also know what if he wanted me so much he would have left. in my heart i know he was a coward and not strong enough and he walked away and left me, but im devastated cos ive lost the best person i ever knew. i know i wont find a love like this again, what i felt for him will be hard to replicate with someone else. at my age also, i feel that this might have been my last chance at happiness and maybe now i should also give up too on love and accept being on my own. im 43 he was 26.
in response to angie..
yes we did meet..we had a couple of holidays each lasting two weeks and we were inseparable. he doesnt want children at all..and i mean he is seriously not having any. even if i was younger and i got pregnant he would have gone crazy cos he doesnt want to be a father. he is totally against the idea cos of illness in his family chain. it wasnt online only. it was real too. we were planning a future and a life here in the uk with me. we were very happy but choosing between me and his parents made him scared. he said he has torn himself apart over this until he reached the conclusion that it was either me or the people who raised him. i can still have kids..i havent had any yet and im fit and healthy. women here in the uk have kids till 48 easily. his own mother had him at 37. shes the same age as my mother..ie in her 60?s. so is his father, as its second marriage.

Best answer:

Answer by Tyler
Families can exert allot of pressure on a relationship. Sometimes the families win, sometimes they don?t. Look at Prince Charles and Camilla. He married her in spite of the world and they are still together. I once was going to marry a Greek man but his mom vehemently disapproved and 2 yrs later she won out. She bribed him with a nice stereo? and of an arrangement with a dowried woman with car and house. Your age gap is insignificant in modern day society but to closed minded society it is something they will focus on maybe for your life time. I don?t want you to be discouraged but if this man does it for you, then marry and move to the UK. If you move you may never get their approval but you won?t feel the brut of their disapproval on a daily basis. In time they may turn him against you.
I?ve been married to a younger man for 32 yrs. I had children with him and lived all over the world with them. We settled close to his family but I don?t have a close relationship with them. Different religious ideas. I have a life independent of his family and they don?t like it. I tell him numerous times to hang out with them and he does every now and then. But he is most himself around me. We go to family functions, I am cordial but I do keep my distance. Focus on your career, money is power. Don?t give them an edge by offerings of financial gifts.

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