Lots of things affect your relationships and love life?where you live, who you hang out with?but your parents? marriage?and any affairs they have actually have one of the most profound effects on how your own love life turns out when you get older. Studies show that?s even true if your parents? affairs went down when you were too young to understand what was happening at the time.
This is especially true if your parents are or are getting divorced as the result of an affair.
One expert, a psychologist named Judith Wallerstein, explained that the impact of divorce (especially from affairs) can be lasting and traumatizing no matter how old you are when your parents split up. ?It affects personality, the ability to trust, expectations and the ability to cope with change,? she said.
This is because what you see your parents do and how you see your parents interact at home becomes the standard for you?if that?s what you see and perceive as normal, then that?s what you?re most likely to reenact in your own love life later on.
One couples counselor revealed that when one partner has an affair, she always asks if his or her parents did the same?and the answer is almost always yes. The experts also revealed that adult children of divorced parents who?d had affairs can be more promiscuous, have more short-term relationships and more sexual partners, and keep sexual pleasure separate from emotional attachment. (Frankly, as long as all partners involved are safe, healthy, happy and respectful, that?s not necessarily a bad thing?we?re not here for that slut shaming nonsense.)
What?s more, the more your parents argue in front of you?especially for guys?the more likely, experts noted, that you?re prone to affairs when you grow up.
Does this all mean you?re doomed to a crappy love life if your parents split up or had affairs? Nope! But it?s a good thing to know if you start noticing patterns in your own behavior, because it can help you?and potentially a counselor?see the root causes and help address them. Plus, if you?ve witnessed your parents having affairs and the fallout it can cause, you may swing in the opposite direction and be less likely to stray because you?ve seen the damage it can do. Just because your past?influences?your future, it doesn?t mean it?controls?it!
Do you think your parents? relationship plays a role in your own love life? Do you think you?d be more prone to have affairs if you knew your parents did? Tell us in the comments!
Why do we always blame the other girl for affairs?
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